How Comparison Separated Me From The Life I Am Meant To Live

We all know and might have heard about people’s advice and quotes saying:

“ Do Not Compare Yourself With The Other “

“ You Are Running Your Own Race “

“ Everyone Is On A Journey Of Their Own “

And perhaps many more other that you have heard before.

However, the fact that people until now still struggling with comparison proves that those quotes or sayings might not work for some people, or it gives only short burst of dopamine sensation that affirms you that you are doing okay.

Like many others in the world, I have been suffering from this millennial issue saying that I am no better than my colleagues, my friends are more successful than I am, you suck and many more direct intimidations and comparisons coming in every. single. day.

However, those quotes listed above are actually saying the right thing, that we are not created in the same mold, and we are not running the same race. My friends might have reached the finish line, or maybe some are just starting, but at the very least everyone is moving and progressing.

But comparison is a sneaky enemy, it comes right into your mind in moments that you don’t predict, it brings it friends along as well, anxiety, depression and many other negative feelings, that if are not manage well then you will be their next victim.

I can write this, because I just got diagnosed with depression and both my psychologist and psychiatrist said the same thing that I need to get help. Comparison separated me from the life I am meant to live.

The question rises “ What is the life that I am meant to live?” is it the life filled with depression, stressful days, hopelessness or maybe life that is filled with joy, hope, love and peace?

We think that everyone have to become a startup founder, or maybe you feel like you can be the next NFT Artist that flipped 400,000 USD in a single night. If yes, then what?

There are days when i thought to myself “ If i can have all the money in the world, would i still be doing the same thing that i am doing right now? Or maybe something different?”

• Will i still be doing business?
• Will i still be living in constant comparisons?

I don’t know because i don’t even have that much money to be prepared for the rest of my life. I am just digital marketing coach trying to make money from one workshops to another workshops.

This article is not to tell you how to get away from comparison, because I am still struggling with it as well. But well oh well, I am writing this just to tell you that you are not alone and no matter how bad comparison can punch you, you can always get back on your feet and fight back.

Comparison still hit me in the face every single day, but I try to block it, evade it and sometimes punch it back in the face and tell it that I can do this. But, there are also I got KO’ed by comparisons and the whole day was just a misery.

But boy oh boy, isn’t that what makes life interesting? There are times when you are on the hills and the next day you are in the valley. You go up and the next day you go down and no one knows why.

But, i came into a realization that comparison can only hit you as much as you allow it. If you are an “Emo” person just like i am, i enjoy pain, heartbreaks and grieving then i advice you to stop doing that because it kills you even more, and the more you do it the harder comparison hits you unguarded.

I am not telling you to read more personal development books

I am not telling you to watch more Ted Talks to make you “Feel” useful

I am not telling you to study or learn something useful to make use of your time

I am not telling you to work even harder.

But i invite you to look inside, accept the reality, change what you can change and say that it is okay not to be okay, it is okey to be broken, months, years, or maybe just days. It is okay to feel sad, it is okay to feel useless.

But after all that, come right back up on your feet, fight back and tell the world that you are able, you can do this, no matter where my colleagues are i am on time, this is the race that is designed for me.

I might write more, but let’s just stop it here, i don’t want to bore you more with all the writings. But hopefully this short writing gives you hope.